The Walk To Remember

On October 26th, Katie and I attended the Walk to Remember at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. The Walk to Remember is an annual ceremony held in honor of infants that have died. Many of the members of the UAB NICU Bereavement Team are involved in the planning of the event, and Katie and I had been looking forward to it as another way to honor and remember Sarah and Claire.

Katie's mom flew in for the weekend so that she could attend with us and my mom. We also invited several of our friends to join. We are so happy that everyone could join us, as the event was another way for us to communicate that Sarah and Claire are still part of our lives every day, and that the events of June were not an isolated point in time but something that continues to affect us and remain with us, and will do so forever.

The ceremony took place on a beautiful sunny autumn afternoon, in an auditorium at the Gardens. The names of the children were read and candles were lit in their memory, and there were several readings as well as some songs and music. Afterwards, we went outside and doves were released as a symbol of peace and hope, and then we walked to the Little Ones' Memory Garden for a reception and a chance to once again see many of the people who cared for us so well during the darkest days when we were still in the hospital.

After the event, we had our family and friends back at our house. We spent time talking about the girls, and we had brought out many of their items of clothing and other mementos for everyone to look at. For some of our friends, it was their first time seeing the photos and hearing the details about everything that happened, and everyone seemed to appreciate having a venue to talk about Sarah and Claire in a positive light. I know that for Katie and I the day was another important step in the healing process.

Katie and I find that it is critical that the people around us recognize Sarah and Claire as our daughters and acknowledge their birth and death. Thankfully, we are surrounded by thoughtful and understanding family, friends and co-workers who do just that and have helped us tremendously through this process. Although it is not always easy or comfortable to do so, it is so important for us to continue to remember and talk about the girls and everything that they mean to us. This event was a wonderful way to do that and we are very thankful that such an event exists.

As I end this entry, I'd like to share the candle lighting reading from the ceremony.

This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

This candle represents our courage - to confront our sorrow,
to comfort each other, to change our lives.

This light is in your memory -
the short time we knew you, the dreams you represented,
the hope we held for your life and our life with you.

This light is the light of love. As we walk to remember you,
we cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you.

We thank you for the gift your life brought to each of us.

We love you.


And we miss you both very, very much.