Claire Anne and Sarah Jane Fabrizio

On June 11th, at the start of the 25th week of pregnancy and following a series of medical complications that led to two separate hospitalizations for Katie, an emergency delivery of our identical twin girls had to be performed in response to a sudden change in the health and safety of the babies.

Claire Anne (1 lb. 3 oz.) and Sarah Jane (1 lb. 7 oz.) were born at 11:49pm. Our little Claire did not survive the birth. Sarah did survive and was immediately placed in the NICU. For three days she fought to stay with us, but on June 14th at 12:40pm she passed away.

This post won't contain any answers or explanations, because there are none. Medically, the doctors cannot pinpoint a cause, other than the general knowledge that identical twins are often a risky proposition. The babies were monitored extremely closely during the entire pregnancy and especially during the hospitalizations, and everything within the limits of technology indicated that the babies were healthy. Spiritually, these events make even less sense, and we will never be able to know or understand why it happened.

What we are certain of is that these two little girls have changed their mom and dad forever. The six months we spent getting to know them, and the far too short time we had with them after they were born, have left an indelible mark on both of us, and have taught us more about life and love than we ever imagined possible. Although this is never how anyone imagines becoming a parent, and although the pain of their loss is terrible and completely unfair, that we got to know them at all and have them in our lives was a gift of the greatest kind.

There are many people who have rallied around us and provided comfort. Our family, friends and co-workers have all been wonderful and give us a support network that lifts us up and helps get us through each day. We are so fortunate to be surrounded by all of you.

In this post, we especially would like to thank all of the medical personnel who have been involved in our care, and in particular the members of the UAB Hospital RNICU Bereavement Team. This is a team within the RNICU who, in addition to their regular jobs as nurses, technicians, and other support personnel, have volunteered to provide support to parents who have suffered perinatal loss. Two of the countless examples of their service are Chaplain Ginger, who performed two memorial services for our girls on short notice and nurse Juliet, who lovingly bathed, clothed and photographed our daughters.

One of the most meaningful things they did for us was prepare memory boxes for Claire and Sarah containing photos, hand and footprints, books of poetry and many of the handmade dresses and blankets that our girls wore. These may sound like simple gestures, but to us, these are the few, precious things and experiences that we have as keepsakes from our short time together with our daughters. Without them, our journey over the past weeks would have been immeasurably more painful. The UAB RNICU doctors, nurses and staff treated our girls like their own daughters, caring and fighting for them with an incredible level of professionalism, compassion and genuine love.

In looking for ways to honor and memorialize our daughters, Katie and I immediately agreed that we would like to do something to help these amazing people who, by virtue of working at UAB's NICU, gladly take up the challenge of helping to care for the most sick, most fragile babies from the entire state and region. Every day they work for patients and their families who are facing such long odds. I would think that such a job would have a high burnout rate, but everyone we talked to had been doing it for so long - 8 years, 10 years, 15 years. It's because they truly love what they do, and they all have a real gift for doing it.

The bereavement team has a need for funds to continue current programs and to introduce new programs for grieving parents. Katie and I feel that it would be a wonderful way to honor and remember Claire and Sarah by providing support to them. If you are interested in helping the UAB NICU Bereavement Team, you can send a check made out to "UAB Hospital" with the memo stating "in memory of Claire and Sarah Fabrizio" to:

Roberta Shapiro, Director of Development
UAB Women's and Infants Initiative
FOT 1220A, 1530 3rd Ave South
Birmingham, AL 35294-3412

Roberta will personally acknowledge your donation and ensure that it is directed to the team.

As for Katie and I, we have a long and difficult journey ahead of us. We may never have answers or understand why this happened; we can only seek a sense of peace and acceptance. With time, we hope that we can, and that what we will remember most will be all of the positive ways in which Claire and Sarah changed our lives and the lives of those around us. We truly appreciate everyone's thoughts and kindness, and remain hopeful for the future, one in which we will always remember our time with our daughters, and the amazing little people that they were.

"The meaning of a person's life cannot be judged
by our limited understanding of time."